A lesson learned from THE UNEXPECTED ABIGAIL ADAMS, by John Smith

Nostalgia be damned—life was MUCH harder in the past, especially for women. 

Abigail Adams is perhaps the single most famous woman of the generation of America’s Founding, and as such she has long been the subject of much fascination and study amongst American historians. Interest in her especially piqued in the wake of modern feminist movements, as people gravitated toward an outspoken and clearly powerful woman in an era where such things were very often frowned upon. In John Smith’s highly readable biography of her, he demonstrates how a major reason for her success was in how perfectly she navigated what people saw as her “proper place,” while also pushing back against it at every opportunity. However, one thing that struck me reading about her life was how brutal and short life could be for pre-modern women, even for the most privileged and powerful. 18th century people suffered from loss on a level it would be hard for us to conceive of today, and we have forgotten all the sacrifices our ancestors made to try and provide us with a healthier and more comfortable world. 

Abigail Adams was born into a relatively privileged Massachusetts family, whose ancestors had helped to found the colony back in the 1600’s. By all accounts, from an early age she showed a brilliant mind and intense curiosity about the world around her; in an age where many women did not receive a formal education, she spent her childhood sitting in the family library and immersing herself in a world of books. She was expected to marry at a young age, and history can be thankful that she eventually fell in love with the young lawyer John Adams, who not only loved and indulged her intellectual curiosity, but also quickly came to see her as an invaluable advice partner for his political ambitions. The rest of the story is well-known to Adams biographers—she aided and guided him through pivotal decisions in the American Revolution, helped him to temper some of his worst impulses (he was prone to petty jealousy and grudges), and secretly guided national policy as the nation’s First Lady once he became president. As Smith notes, some of John Adams’ best ideas originated from Abigail’s guidance, and he often foundered when they would be separated for long stretches due to various government missions. 

Beyond Abigail’s legendary political achievements, one of the fascinating focuses of Smith’s book is all the daily struggles she encountered as the most famous woman of her generation. She gave birth to six children, two of whom died in infancy, and one of whom became a raging alcoholic who drank himself into an early grave. As the female head of household, Abigail was expected to not just raise the children and clean the house, but to also try to come up with various folk medicines to treat the terrible plagues that were a fact of life in decimating the people of 18th century America. The Adamses were eager proponents of vaccine efforts, as they watched the devastating death toll of smallpox upon their immediate family members. Throughout her life Abigail had to bury countless loved ones at a young age as various typhoid and measles epidemics raged through households, and she herself was in constant pain in a world where all-male doctors fruitlessly tried to figure out various treatments for female afflictions. One of the most moving and painful episodes of her life involved trying to treat her daughter Nabby’s breast cancer, where surgery was put off as long as possible because effective surgical anesthetics simply did not exist at that point (Nabby went through the horror of surgery only to eventually succumb to the cancer). Abigail repeatedly argued women should have the right to vote, yet she was legally forbidden from even making a will upon her death as all of her things legally belonged to her husband (thankfully John tried his best to carry out her wishes). 

Through all the struggles of the 18th century world, Abigail remained an admirable and complicated figure, with her own unique sense of humor and perspective on the world. She was a passionate believer in racial equality, arguing that the plagues that decimated so many families might be God’s wrath for the country allowing slavery, and even taking on neighbors who tried to keep black children out of public schools. She also remained a woman of her era, noting her own personal prejudices when she would see interracial couples. She fought to progress the cause of women’s equality, while also having plenty of funny “these damn raunchy kids” moments (like her horror when she first went into a theater with scantily clad women). Sometimes, her love for her family and her children would lead her to beg them to give up their political causes and simply to spend more time together, an effort which she usually lost. 

I greatly enjoyed learning more about Abigail, a woman whom many Americans are vaguely familiar with, but who was a much more fascinating and remarkable person than many people understand her to be. She lived and died in a brutal world that was unfair to all, but especially to women, and yet she did her best to thrive both as a family matriarch and as an outspoken woman, whose status and charisma allowed her to fight for things that most women at that time could not have imagined advocating. We should all be grateful for how much progress the world has made since the age of Abigail Adams, while also fighting to ensure that toxic nostalgia doesn’t return us to some of that era’s worst suffering.